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Fears | Johanna

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I have a lot of fears. In fact, I have an entire list of them.

  • Failing an important test
  • Losing my cats
  • Being framed for something I hadn’t done
  • Getting raped
  • Getting murdered
  • Dying
  • Not being able to have children
  • Having an unhappy life
  • Being publically humiliated

But above all, I’m the most afraid of two things: Water and rollercoasters.

Well, at least I was.

For my fear of water, it began when I was much younger than I am right now. I knew from the beginning that I did not like to put my head underwater. I don’t know if was because I couldn’t see and hear underwater, or I didn’t like the feeling of it, but I absolutely hated it. My father though, thought that the most rational thing to do to get over my fear was to shove my head underwater again and again until I was no longer scared. Obviously, the idea did not work out and from then on, I was terrified of any large bodies of water from lakes to swimming pools to oceans.

I’m not quite sure why I don’t like roller coasters but I’m pretty sure it derived from a drop tower that I rode when I was 8 years old. I now understand that I absolutely hate the feeling of being dropped and the drop tower was the first time I ever felt it. After it I never wanted to go on any amusemant park ride ever again.

The difference between my biggest fears and the rest of them is that my main fears came from horrible real life experiences. Although my others fears may seem much scarier in comparison, to me they’re completely different things. They’re different kinds of fears. My smaller fears are just things that I’m scared of happening due to their consequences. I hate my biggest fears because of the way that they make me feel.

I can say though that I have recently gotten over both my fears. I finally learned how to swim last summer when I got the guts to plunge myself underwater in a pool. After doing it several times at will, not being practically drowned by someone else, I stopped being afraid of it. I now really enjoy swimming in the summer with friends.

Last summer, I also went to an amusement park with friends for the first time. They were supportive about my fear and were determined to help me conquer it, so started by going on the smallest roller coasters they had and worked our way up. By the end of the day, I had gone on a medium sized coaster with several drops. And weird enough, I didn’t hate the feeling of being dropped anymore. I’m now a moderate roller coaster rider!

All in all, I think that getting over a main fear is a good thing. It’s much more convenient to not have a fear. Next year, I’ll have to take a swimming unit in highschool and now being able to swim with confidence surrounded by water will help me to succeed. And just yesterday I went to the amusement park again since getting over my fear. Although I didn’t go on the biggest ride there, my hope is that I will be able to by the end of the season. It’s all about the baby steps.

Lots of luck,

Johanna

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